A Super Bowl Chili Recipe

What a weird Super Bowl LIV. No parties, no going to bars, heck there will barely be anyone in the stadium itself.

So what does that leave us to do on Super Bowl Sunday? Well, cook of course.

I’ve been dinking around with my own variation of chili recipes for a while now. So since I already have a pot on the stove and no place to go right now, I’ll spend some time sharing the recipe with you.

First things first… When I say I have been dinking around with recipes, that really means, “I start with a general idea and then throw a whole bunch of stuff in and then can’t remember what I did.”

The General Idea 
I like using two types of meat. Usually, I’ll season a Chuck Roast or something similar the night before and then brown it in the morning. (You know it’s properly browned when you set off the smoke alarm in the house and hear sounds of exasperation coming from your spouse as they open all the windows on a 40-degree day and have to wave towels at the alarm.) But I also add ground beef to fill out the profile. (We have also used ground turkey meat before and no one knew the difference if you want to go healthier.)

But before the meat goes in, I like to chop up an onion and let it brown at the bottom of the chili pot with a little olive oil, some garlic, and a chopped red pepper. I don’t know why I do this. It probably makes no difference taste-wise, but it serves the purpose of formally announcing the official start of the cooking process. We don’t have a royal trumpet to blow which would also serve the same purpose, and be more fun.

Once the big slab of meat has been browned it can be chopped up into bite-sized cubes, and added to the pot with the simmering onion, garlic, and pepper mixture. Then the ground beef goes in. Followed by some beef broth, one can each of tomato paste, tomato sauce, and diced tomatoes.

Now, this part changes around, and I know it’s not true Texas chili anymore when I do this, but I add a can of black beans. You can also use the bag of black beans which will keep a better consistency. I just like to have some fiber in there. And this next part is total chili heresy so I will deny it if anyone ever repeats it, but I sometimes include just enough red lentils to add depth and texture without anyone knowing they are eating lentils. The addition of lentils also makes the chili officially “healthy” without ruining the flavor. It might even qualify as being organic and vegan with this addition. I have to check the rules on that.

Then come the spices. And I would be lying if I could tell you what the exact mixture is. I have no idea the amounts or ratios of anything that goes in the spice mix. I can tell you that it features some combination of these: Salt (a smoky salt like Applewood is nice), black pepper, white pepper, garlic powder, regular chili powder, anejo chili powder, chipotle chili powder, fiesta chili powder, sweet smoked paprika, a dash of 50k cayenne powder, a cumin (up to you on that one), some herbs (usually oregano, basil, thyme), and then the secret weapons: chili cocoa powder and cinnamon. If I’m feeling feisty, I’ll also chop up a habenero and jalepeno pepper in very large chunks so that it can cook in the pot but is also big enough so that if it lands in your bowl you won’t accidentally eat it. 

Then the lid goes on the pot and it all gets to simmer for as long as you want it to, somewhere between 3 and 6 hours. Taste throughout the day, and use any spice in your pantry to make alterations through the process.

Sometimes it needs more tomato sauce or paste to thicken it up, sometimes more broth or diced tomatoes to thin it out, sometimes more spice to fire it up. And if you realize you have made something that will light everyone on fire, add some brown sugar. That will mellow it out and no, it won’t taste like candy at all.

That’s it! Super simple. And because everything is generally in one pot, it doesn’t cause any mess at all! The kitchen is always as clean as when I started. Every time. At least that’s what I think. My wife may have a differing opinion.

Let me know if you have any chili recipes of your own. Happy Super Bowl.

Well, That Was Unsettling

I don’t really have anything poignant or eloquent to say about the events of Jan 6, 2020. To be honest, I just feel like I need to write something that I can refer back to in 5, 10 or 20 years.

Just recapping the day in my head seems like I am writing a fictional story.

  1. Congress is meeting for the straight-forward task of counting the electoral votes that were cast by states, validated by Secretaries of State, and signed off on by each Governor.
  2. A sitting President encourages members of his party to invalidate the count.
  3. The same sitting President asks his Vice-President, to invalidate the count.
  4. A rally of supporters from across the country, listen to speeches from among others, the CEO of MyPillow and the disgraced lawyer who got caught in a hotel room with a minor in a Borat movie.
  5. Said President encourages the crowd to march to Capitol Hill and fight for what was right (paraphrasing here).
  6. The crowd goes to the Capitol, stomps around a while, and then attack it.
  7. Said President goes back to the White House.
  8. The crowd breeches the Capitol, and while some people are just caught up in the enthusiasm, others are clearly looking for specific targets.
  9. Capitol Police are forced to shoot someone attempting to climb through a window to get to members of Congress.
  10. Despite a mob attacking the place where the current VP, future VP, and all of Congress is located, the President is not moved to a secure location.
  11. The crowd eventually just turns into a group of idiot spring breakers raiding a hotel, stealing what they can grab and taking selfies.
  12. The crowd eventually leaves, but an officer is dead and 3 other people besides the woman who tried to jump through the window.

This has to be the low point. In a few weeks, we will have real adults running the country again. They won’t be perfect, and some people will hate them, but they will at least be adults.

In some way, my biggest takeaway from these last four years, is that this is how the country would be run if we had no President. It’s like if you were 12 and your parents went away for four years, and yet you survived. When a new relative came to take care of you, think of how much better off you’d end up.

I don’t know what to say. Storming the Capitol is something I never imagined could happen. Now I wonder what unbreakable barrier comes down next.

Things We Learned in 2020

What a year. Like 1929, 1941, and 2000, this was one that will take up extra space in the history books of the future.

So what did we learn? I polled a few people and here were some responses.

  1. I used to proclaim, “If there was just one more hour in every day, I’d finally be able to write a book.” Well, we all cut an hour of commuting out of our lives every day, along with about 3 hours of meetings. And I did not finish that book.
  2. There is such a thing as “too much screen time.”
  3. Some people we work with have WAY nicer houses than we could have imagined. And some people don’t.
  4. There are a lot more incredibly gullible, stupid, and obstinate Americans than I would have thought.
  5. The shift schedules for John, Alice, Margarite, Jane, and the other checkout clerks at my neighborhood grocery store.
  6. For the last four years, we may not have actually had anyone running the country on a daily basis.
  7. Many, many, many jokes and gags from movies made in the 1980’s and 1990’s that seemed hilarious at the time… did not age well into the 2020’s.
  8. The single greatest thing you could have done with your stimulus check in March would have been to stick it in the stock market and spend it now.
  9. There are still people who believe in the Bill of Rights. As in, my right to not wear a mask is more important than your right to not get sick from me not wearing a mask.
  10. Cats religiously follow their own daily schedule in the house, and we were completely unaware of it when we went to the office.
  11. The taste of a Starbucks cold brew from the $5 bottle that can be bought at the grocery store and lasts more than a week, is exactly the same as the taste of the cold brew we spent $5 a day on from the store by our office.
  12. We own way too many clothes.
  13. In retrospect, having to wait an extra 10 minutes to order food at a cool restaurant because the place was too busy and understaffed… really wasn’t that big of a deal.
  14. Whether we like our neighbors or not.
  15. “Urban hiking” is a real thing.
  16. You really can fool some of the people all of the time.

I’m sure there are more lessons that we learned. Add yours below!

Better Ways to Spend $133

I cannot claim to be the world’s most charitable person. But if you are considering spending $133 on a DNA test for your dog while unemployment is still at a near all-time high due to COVID, may I suggest donating that $133 to a food bank instead. Or make a donation to an animal shelter or any organization providing needy pet owners with free pet food. Thank you.

Happy NFL 2020!

This is why I don’t bet on sports.

If someone had been willing to wager me on whether the NFL would kick off the season on time, I’d have felt very comfortable taking the side that there would be a significant delay.

In fact, I predicted that the day the NFL has to suspend the season is the day the stock market will finally tank from its summer of love.

But here we are – the season begins on time, and the market still kind of tanked. Go figure.

But remember one thing for this unique 2020 NFL season – Even though we can’t go to games, watch at bars with friends, or talk Seahawks at the office, no matter how bad you feel like you need to talk about it, your spouse/partner still DOES NOT want to hear about your Fantasy team.

R.I.P. Lute

It’s crazy to think how a person you never met could have a huge influence on your life.

It’s spring of 1988 and I’m a high school sophomore. It’s just about that time for me to begin thinking of where I might want to apply to college.

I knew I really didn’t want to go to UW (ironic since I ended up teaching there later), and WSU seemed really really really cold. Since I had grown up in New Orleans, schools in the south seemed like a reasonable option.

Somehow I got tickets to the NCAA Sweet 16 weekend in the Kingdome. My friends and I went to the games, and this school I had never really heard of was clearly the class of the group. Steve Kerr was lighting up threes. Sean Elliott was doing whatever he felt like doing. And leading the whole charge was this older gentleman with white hair named Lute Olson.

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I don’t know what it was about that Arizona basketball team that made me look into the school as an option. Why would a New Orleans kid living in the Pacific Northwest want to move to the desert? But something took Arizona from obscurity to a front runner, and it all started with that basketball team. And years and years later, the friends I made there are people I still talk to almost daily.

So RIP Lute Olson. You personally had nothing to do with my life decisions, yet somehow the success of your team got me interested in the school I ended up attending and resulted in me meeting people I ended up having lifelong relationships with. Thank you.

The 2020 Presidential Race, in an Alternate Universe

So, imagine for a moment, that you are the leader of the free world. You have made some mistakes, but you also have fervent supporters. As you enter your re-election year, an alien spaceship materializes out of nowhere and begins to attack the entire world, your country included.

This is clearly unexpected. One might even say unprecedented. You would have to carefully consider what to do next.

Now, as the leader of the free world, you have some advantages on your side. For example, if you wanted to, you could assemble the smartest collection of individuals on the planet to be your closest advisors. On a daily basis, you could be interfacing with intellectuals from around the world, who collectively are focusing on the most advanced technologies known to man. On top of that group, you could also assemble a “tiger team” of people whose single role is to disagree with your first-team’s initial analyses, creating a dialogue of debate based on facts and science. And then, after all of the math and logic has been debated, you might have a cadre of close advisors – long-time allies and confidants who you have shared success with. A group of people you trust to help you understand the words the intellectuals have thrown at you.

So knowing that you have this all-star team of brainpower and creative ideas at your full disposal, and staring in the eyes of a global catastrophe, one might think to themselves, “Hmm. Well, this is going to take a while to solve. I probably should have my people pull together an 18-36 month plan. In fact, I should probably call all the leaders of other large nations, and coordinate how we want to work together. And then, I should probably assemble all the governors, and implement a national organization that will address the issues over the next 1-3 years.

At this point, your campaign manager may come up to you and say, “Well do you realize that if you implement an 18-36 month plan to address a global crisis during an election year, you’ll basically be forcing voters to abandon a war-time plan if they vote for your opponent? The other candidate will literally have no chance of beating you. That doesn’t seem fair at all.”

You might look at your adviser and say, “Politics be damned. I care about the American people. Let’s show our world leadership, and then unite the country so we all fight this battle together. If history says I didn’t fight a fair campaign because I united a nation during a campaign year to fight a common enemy, then well, I’ll just have to deal with those ramifications down the road.”

In some parallel universe, this logic occurred. Unfortunately, in ours, these paragraphs are a work of collective fiction.

Cures for Insomnia

Editor’s Note: I am not a doctor or psychologist. In fact, I’m not even a therapist with a degree from some private organization offering certificates from a mini-mall. So please do not take these recommendations as medical advice.

So…..how’s YOUR spring going?

Or are we in summer now, it’s hard to tell.

Well, we’re a few months into this now. Are you starting to realize that this is a long-term thing? Yeah, me too.

So let’s list the things we may be worrying about: Getting sick, keeping our jobs, managing our kids’ education, ever seeing friends again, ever seeing out-of-state family again, the stock market crashing and eradicating our entire retirement plan, our weight gain (maybe that’s just me), Proud Boys, Antifa, a presidential meltdown, and more. That’s a long list. How does anyone sleep at all?

I certainly am not sleeping through the night, so I’ve had to come up with a few ways to cure my 3:00 am insomnia or deal with it. Here are some of my solutions.

  1. Read Marketing Whitepapers: In general, headlines and opening sections are exciting. But move to the body of these works if you need a literary sedative.
  2. MasterMind online: I swear this website must have been built in 1996, which actually makes it soothing. But if you played this game as a kid with your family, you’ll like the one-player Atari-like version of this game online.
  3. Read a book
  4. Write a blog post: I may actually fall asleep while writing this.
  5. vcaklvm ,dsca.V ;Q, VQ;L,.V ;L,V FLQV, e.sd
  6. Sorry, fell asleep and my cat jumped on the keyboard.
  7. Read job descriptions: Even if you aren’t looking for a job, you can learn a lot about companies by reading what they are hiring for. I will not call any companies out here, but some of them have wild wild wild expectations for their new candidates.
  8. Watch CNBC: Remember when it’s 3:00 am in Seattle, the entire East Coast is ready to get rolling. The 3-hour CNBC morning show, Squwak Box, ventures between interviews that are mundane to fascinating. You either fall asleep or learn something.

What are your ideas to cure insomnia?

Book Recommendation: Front Row at the Trump Show

My politics don’t swing wide left or wide right. When there is a political event, I appreciate any media that provides a true and accurate statement of the facts. I also love the media in general, especially now. It’s a fascinating time for the broadcasting industry since ratings mean revenue and controversy brings ratings.

That’s why I am enjoying “Front Row at the Trump Show” so much, and recommend it to everyone I talk to. It’s a fascinating, non-partisan perspective from a member of the White House Press Corps through four Presidents. It’s a great listen on Audible as well.