If you watched the Super Bowl, you may have seen Audi’s “Green Police” ad which basically mocked people who took recycling to the nth degree.  While the good folks of Michigan and Kansas City didn’t have too much of a reaction to the spot, the citizens of the Bay Area and Seattle looked over to their colleagues and wondered, “Are they making fun of us?”

Well, apparently Seattle decided it needed to try to distance from our friends to south itself on the battle of “Who can make the most ridiculous law” and implemented a quickly criticized ban on smoking in parks.

Now, before I had a chance to run to the blog here and announce how silly I think this rule is, Seattle politicians did what they do best – waffled on their decision, created a watered down version of the law, and developed something that is full of ambiguity and makes sense to no one.

First, let’s be clear about something.  I am not a smoker.  However, since I believe the market generally works itself out in these scenarios, this government intrusion annoys me.  In fact, as much as I enjoy going for a pint and not having to deal with smoke, I find that the ban on smoking in bars is unconstitutional and unfair.  I don’t get why one legal vice is allowed, and another legal vice is not.  But that’s not what I want to focus on.

Instead, I have to ask, how on earth can you ban smoking outdoors?  The argument of, “It’s dangerous for kids,” is a pretty slippery slope, so you better be committed before throwing yourself on that sword. For example, when I was 12, I broke my jaw when I was hit by a baseball, so let’s ban baseball too.  5 years ago, I broke my wrist playing soccer, so let’s nix that.  Swings are ridiculously dangerous, and slides get really hot in summer, so let’s nuke those.  And don’t even get me started on dogs.  People are allergic to them, and kids get scared.  Keep them out of our parks.  I mean really, you could even find a reason to not allow people to read certain books, if you are worried about a kid asking what a “Catcher in the Rye” means.

Now, apparently Timothy Gallagher’s boss got an inbox of emails after the Parks and Rec Department tried to sneak through this lunacy.  Maybe someone realized that we had made it impossible for President Obama to ever visit a Seattle Park.  Regardless, Gallagher’s vision on a truly nanny society got curtailed a touch, and the rules got shifted a little.  Now you must be 25 feet from people.  This is still comical.  Imagine if “Joe” takes his blanket out to Greenlake, finds a lonely place away from everyone, sits down with War and Peace, and lights up a smoke.  While he’s enjoying his day, 5 year old Timmy goes running by and stops to look at a leaf.  Does Timmy’s Dad now get to charge Joe with smoking next to a minor?  Suppose a bunch of 16 year old miscreants follow around the smokers to get them busted?  It’s just crazy.

I wasn’t born and raised here, so I’ve never quite figured out why Seattle likes its politicians to have so much control over their lives.  Can we agree now that folks like Gallagher need to get reigned in, and agree we need to start reclaiming control of our own civil liberties?  Or should we wait until Nike shoes are deemed inappropriate.