Don’t you wish you’d see a story like this come from Safeco Field?

Mariners Offer Apologies, Announce They’ll Work With Season Ticket Holders to Salvage Season 

SEATTLE – Seattle Mariners President Chuck Armstrong made a ground-breaking apology to Mariners fans today, promising changes will be made and optimistically promoting the 2009 season.

“On behalf of the entire organization, I want to let everyone know that the disappointment you feel for this team, is felt ten-fold in our offices,” said Armstrong.”

Armstrong acknowledged the 2008 season is officially over, and told fans that the focus is now on an AL West title in 2009.  “Given this unique opportunity to plan 10 months out, we really want to involve the fans,” explained Armstrong.  “Our scouts and talent evaluators will release a schedule of events, so that fans can provide input and feedback.  We really want the Mariners fans involved with this rebuilding process.”

Mariners ownership appears to be embarrassed by the result of the season, and realize that their customers have vastly overpaid for the tickets they have already bought.  “We set the prices, and released the product,” said a front office executive.  “Now we see our product is over-priced, and will compensate fans accordingly.  Our customers are our most important asset, and we want them to pay a fair price for what they are seeing.”

The Mariners also announced the forming of a “Fan Oversight Group” a committee of 11 non-employees, voted on by fans, who will have a seat on the Mariners Advisory Board and access to executives.  This group will not drive decisions, but will allow fans to have transparency into organizational matters that affect the customer base.

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So of course this is silly. But can you think of another business in which you can charge premium prices, provide a shoddy product, exhibit no competency to improve the product, hide behind a release cycle as an excuse for over-charging customers, and provide absolutely no insight into how you might fix the product’s issues?  I can’t think of anything comparable.  It’s just a shame – Beautiful stadium, fans who want to care, and a team that looks like the season is an inconvenience that breaks up their winter holiday.