For all you M’s and Niehaus fans.

Ok, so I’m a bad travel blogger.

Some truths: 

• I had no real mobile capabilities to upload blog posts from my phone.  Sorry, my fear factor regarding AT&T dropping a $2,000 bill on me was just too high.
• We were either on our tour bus, getting shoo-ed onto our tour bus, or within sight of our tour bus from about 8am to 9pm every night.  So when I was done with the tour, I could either sit in my hotel room and write about what I just saw, or I could hit the streets and spend 2-3 more hours seeing cool stuff on foot.  Guess what I did.
• Now, I *could have* written stuff down on my iPad or iPhone notepad apps during the day while on the bus, then uploaded those docs at night, and then gone out to see the towns.  Instead, I spent time conversing with my travel companions and taking pictures through the bus window.  I think I chose wisely. 

So, we’re here 10 days later, and I need a clever gimmick for spewing out some China related content.  And since I can’t write this daily log style with any sense of authenticity, we’ll move to Plan B.

Let’s start with some overall transportation / travel impressions.

1) Jesus it’s big.  I mean, sure, duh.  But I mean, it’s really freaking big.  You know when you are in Europe, and you look at a map and see where the subway stations are and pick the one closest to where you are going?  And then you jump on the subway, get off, and walk 5-10 minutes to your spot? Well it doesn’t work like that in Beijing (or Shanghai actually).  In Beijing, you get off at your spot and start walking.  Then you kind of realize that all of the side streets you are walking past might not actually be on your map, and that your map would have to be the size of a tent to include them all.  And now you’re 20-25 minutes into the walk and thinking, “Well hell I must have missed the street.”  And even though you *know* you didn’t miss it, you turn back anyway, or wander down a side street because your brain just can’t comprehend that you’d be walking THAT FAR from the subway station and not reaching your destination yet.  So you’re lost.  Then everyone you are leading on the walk yells at you.  Good times.

2) However, to solve that problem of it being way to big of a city to walk around in, they have made the cabs extraordinarily cheap.  40 minute cab ride, 15 bucks.  Problem solved.

3) Unfortunately, the cab drivers don’t speak any English, nor can they read a map.  And even if you can give them the name of the place in Chinese so they can read it, since everything is so new and the city is so big, it’s a shot in the dark that they’ve ever been there.  New problem.

4) Now, should you actually get a cab pointed roughly in the direction you want to go, there’s almost a guaranteed chance that your cab will cease being a transportation mechanism, and become more of a comfortable but stationary shelter from the elements.  You see, in Beijing they have a highway system that a city like Seattle would be envious of.  However, given that Beijing has roughly 11x the amount of people as Seattle, that highway system becomes less of a model of progressive ingenuity, and more of a simple game of 4-wheeled musical chairs.

5) Now, should you find the proper time of day when cars are actually moving, you witness another phenomenon.  Every intersection and road has 5 sets of travelers.  You have the tour buses, the cars, the mopeds, the bikes and the pedestrians.  I sat mesmerized watching how these groups interacted with each other, and here’s the agreed upon rules as far as I can figure them out. 

• Pedestrians have the complete right of way everywhere, provided that you don’t get hit by any moving vehicle (including bikes, mopeds, cars or buses.) If you do get hit, it’s your fault.  They confuse you at first by painting lines that one would think are crosswalks.  But in reality, these are merely targets for the moped riders to use when looking for pedestrians to hit.  However, if you make it across, you are both welcome and invited to continue your journey.  
• Bikes seem to have similar rules.  However, it appears that bikes have the added responsibility of keeping pedestrians alert and on their toes.  Bikes will come flying out of alley ways and around the backs of buses just to keep pedestrians awake.  
• Now the mopeds are an entirely different breed of animal.  Mopeds don’t ever have to stop at stop lights, which makes stop lights more or less decorative than anything else for these folks.  And if you are a pedestrian and not aware of this little rule, well you are likely to be sitting in someone’s front basket as a confused but unfazed Chinese person takes you for a little trip down the boulevard.  So picture a 5 way stop, with some random selection of 2 of the lights green and 3 of them red.  Now watch pedestrians walking in any direction, bikes slowly meandering across the middle, mopeds driving in a straight line without changing speed whatsoever, and the cars and buses obeying the lights.
• Overall, I think the cars get the short end of the stick.  It’s not bad enough that they have these little two legged and two wheeled things buzzing around them, but they really have to watch out for the buses.  
• Because the buses – oh the buses.  The bus drivers could parallel park an aircraft carrier in a Hydro pit.  These guys will take any little edge they can to sneak ahead a few cars at a time.  You can just see the car drivers steaming.  “I’m not letting him in.  I’m not letting him in…. Damnit! He got in!”  A little shimmy here, a little shimmy there, and these guys get you to the next stop.  I actually think the bus drivers are allowed the right to take out cars, mopeds and pedestrians, as part of a population control program.  Because everyone fears the buses. 

I think this is a good spot to leave off.  It appears that this may turn into a general journal taking on several themes across different cities, transportation being the first one that pops to mind.  I suppose we’ll make obligatory stops in the categories of food, shelter, battling with untrustworthy shop vendors, the crazy Chinese government controlled Tourist industry and a few random thoughts at the end.

Now, if I get my act together, I’ll upload a bunch of pics and make some slideshows.  In the meantime, you’ll have to catch a few random ones on Facebook.