Andy Boyer

Blog

  • When You Start to Believe We Are Not Surrounded By Lunatics, Please Refer Back Here

    I’ve been doing some political research for a little project that I hope will launch very soon.

    But it’s given be the opportuity to read blogs written by supporters of particular candidates.  And every once in a while, I run across someone so out of touch with reality, you have to think they could bring down an entire campaign just by being a loud, lunatic supporter.  If you were a Brownback campiagn strategist, how do you approach this nut job and say, "Look, we appreciate the support, but Shut the Hell up!  You’re killing us!"

    Here’s the loony in question.  Never have a I seen such a well thought-out and researched blog post that contains such ridiculous conclusions from the data in question.

  • News from Prison – no not that prison

    I have no interest in adding any comment on the Paris Hilton fiasco.  I feel bad for anyone that is that scared and upset.

    So instead of talking about a celebrity that wants to avoid her sentence, I want to introduce you to an imate that wants to use his sentence to become a celebrity.

    Meet Patrick Knight, a death row inmate in Texas who is quickly giving those who favor capital punishment a poster child to point to.  Knight is taking his punishment with such contempt, that his friend has set up a web site asking people to email him jokes.  The friend will bring him all the jokes, and then Knight will use his last breath to "leave them laughing" as KLTV puts it.

    None of this is illegal.  But what a statement about how easy it is to become a celebrity these days, if only for a minute.  Had Knight put togther a tearful, remorseful apology to the family, no one would know.  But instead he decides that his last act will be one which gets him a little national attention.  It’s a final selfish act for someone who has already taken a loved one away from someone else.  Some things just amaze me.

  • Sonics Fans Regain Hope – Here Comes the Calvary, er….Indians

    It’s a story that begs for mixed metaphors, and simply reeks with irony.

    The 50+ White Men who owned the Seattle Sonics, millionaires and billionaires from all industries, could not come up with the money to build a new arena for their basketball team.  Nor could they convince the government that the taxpayers should foot the bill.  An so with no solution in sight, they threw up their hands and dumped the team on some Oklahoma businessmen.

    More white men.  Even richer and more powerful than the Seattle group.  They came up on private jets and dined in 5 star restaurants, convinced they could not fund their own stadium.  And so, when their negotiations with the same government representatives yielded the same outcome, they threw their hands in the air and said, "We’re going to have to move."

    And just when Sonics fans thought it was hopeless, who comes riding in on White Horses, but the Muckleshoot Indian Tribe.  And they said, "You see, well, we got a couple hundred acres of land just sitting around doing nothing, and we have all this cash sitting in the bank, and one day Johnny was driving down the road and said, ‘We should build a basketball arena there.’"

    And now the most illogical, unbelievable scenario makes perfect sense.  If a stadium works in Renton, why not Kent?  Why not have an arena next to a casino?  Why not build a rock arena / hoops court that leverages the already existing White River Amphitheatre?

    And better yet, why didn’t any of the MBA’s working on this project for the last few years think of it themselves?

    Now I’m not totally wild about driving 40 minutes for a basketball game.  And you probably completely lose anyone that lives above Edmonds.  But given all the scenarios, this seems to make pretty good sense, and beats having to start rooting for Portland. 

    Who would have thought – the Muckleshoots delivering a solution that neither Seattle or Oklahoma’s business elite could come up with. 

     

  • Crystal Air – Great stuff

    I think I wrote about this before, but please check out the hilarious CrystalAir.com

    In particluar, if you like the Muppets, check this out: 

  • This Company has a Marketing Budget

    Because the blog entries here revolve around marketing, with a little start-up stuff thrown in, I’m pleased to find what could be the stupidest product of all time.  But these guys not only have a marketing budget – enough to advertise in Google Mail – but a Google Page Rank of 4, making their dumb product’s web site 100 times more important than this blog.

    Here’s the tagline:

    "The Safe Banana Guard will fit most bananas & give protection during your journey."

    Yes, apparently there is a market for a product that’s specific job is to protect a banana.  And, the company is funded.

    Not only does this product exist, it comes in 9 colors.  Because this is a family blog, you will notice that I am refraining from any jokes that could easily float their way to the surface from viewing the order page.  It’s not for a lack of material or imagination, I promise.  Just sometimes the fruit is so low hanging, you want to let someone else pick the tree.

    I think possibly my favorite part is that they have a section called, "Testimonials."   Come on… Seriously?  Testimonials?  Doesn’t something called ‘SafeBanana" speak for itself at this point?  Do you really need to read a quote like, "Dude, this thing like totally protected my banana.  I know it’s called SafeBanana, but I didn’t see how it could be possible.  Now, I’m a believer."

    Anyway, as a public service to all you people who have suffered and survived banana trauma, I bring you SafeBanana.  Please use responsibly.

  • If You Can’t Build a Marketing campaign Around This…Then You’re Just Not Trying

    Minor League Baseball rules.  Here’s Phil Wellman, manager of the Mississippi Braves, politely disagreeing with an umpire.

     

  • Only 44,445 to go….

    Not that I pay attention to thtis stuff…but I noticed my Alexa ranking today is 1,044,445.  I only need to catch 44,445 sites to make the top Million.  I don’t know why exactly that seems interesting.

  • Quick Rant – Frisbee Ballet

    <rant>

    I’m trying to enjoy a beautiful sunny work day by transferring the home office down to Peet’s on Green Lake.  I have my laptop, iPod, a table, an iced mocha and a great view of the fields and the lake.  Life is grand.

    Then these 4 characters get in my sightline and start performing frisbee ballet tricks.  While there are some activities that are ignorable, this is just flat out weird.  Dude is doing piroutettes before catching the disc.   Is there music playing that I’m not hearing?  I don’t get it. 

    Now to be clear, I’m not knocking Ultimate – I’ve seen people play that and it looks like real athletic work.  I think I played once and nealry passed out from exhaustion from doing nothing but running 60 yard dashes and throwing passes that travel at about a 270 degree angle.  But this frisbee ballet thing is just – bizarre.  I hope I don’t offend any of my friends with this post….

    </rant>

     

  • The Danger Side of Decentralizing Your Campaign Supporters

    Politics 2.0 is great!  Supporters spreading the word – for free!  Blogging all over the internet- for free!  Emailing their friends – for free!  Generating online campaign donations! Planning campaign fundraisers for both you and the opponent of someone in your own party….WHOA.  Hold on….

    Turns out the Obama campaign is the first one to face the inevitable issues that are going to come from letting all the genies out of the bottle at once.  Originally published on Roll Call, but also found on Georigia Politics 101:

    Alarm bells were sounded briefly within the Congressional Black Caucus this week when word spread of a fundraiser benefiting both the presidential campaign of Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) and the Republican opponent of Rep. David Scott (D-Ga.).

    What? Why would Obama be raising money with a Republican, and one who is seeking to knock off one of his fellow CBC colleagues to boot?

    Turns out that the event, a 5K run/walk with a registration fee ranging from $30 to $35, was not sanctioned by the Obama campaign — which sought to put the kibosh on it as soon as the Senator’s advisers learned about it.  It was organized by a grass-roots supporter in Georgia, who also is a backer of Deborah Honeycutt (R), Scott’s challenger. The plan was that 85 percent of the proceeds from the event would go to Obama and 15 percent to Honeycutt, who garnered 31 percent of the vote against Scott in 2006 and is running again in 2008. The event was linked through my.barackobama.com, the campaign’s grass-roots networking Web site that allows supporters to share planned events…

    "They’ve already asked them to cease and desist," Davis said. The campaign never received funds tied to the event, which was scheduled for a TBA date and location. "It’s not anything the Obama campaign had to do with," Davis added.

    A relatively small deal, but when so much power is transferred from a central campaign headquarters to the blogosphere, well, look for a whole lot of interesting anomalies and headaches for the campaign team.  Just like anything, all the positives are going to come with a cost…

  • Succumbing to the Grocery Store Promo

    X-13D.jpgIt’s easy to reach me at the grocery store.  Just have the best discount.  I admit it – I’m cheap about commodity items like frozen dinners, toothpaste, shampoo, soup, pasta sauce, etc….if you drop your price for a special, I’ll buy it.

    And so I was surprised at myself when I ran across the latest Doritos promo, and how I immediately put a bag in my cart.

    First off, I don’t buy chips.  I’m big enough – no reason to make it easy for the fat cells to win this battle.

    If you look around the grocery store, you see thousands of packages that have been meticulously designed, researched, surveyed, evaluated, tested, focus grouped and rewritten so that every word, even the small print, succinctly and accurately explains the attributes of the products in the clearest way possible.  Marketing folks around the country – folks not unlike me – make a living figuring out EXACTLY what should be on that package.  They want the consumer to know what they are buying and why they want it so badly.

    And then —– here’s Doritos with a bag that says, "Um, we’re not going to tell you what it is.  Eat it and tell us what you think it tastes like."

    GENIUS! I MUST HAVE A BAG NOW!

    I don’t know what it is, but I am now all a twitter about the surprise I have just bought myself for $2.50.  It could taste like an old shoe, but the simple fact that I’m driving home from the grocery store wondering what I bought makes me WAY more than $2.50 worth of happy.

    I think they could have charged me $10 for this, and I’d have said, "Sure.  I want, no I NEED, to try that black bag of X-13D’s."

    So here I am on a Friday afternoon.  My bag of chips in front of me.  And I seriously think this may be the most exciting moment of my week.  What will they taste like?  Do you know? 

    Ok, opening the bag now…. it smells less pungent than your normal bag.  Does this mean less taste?  I hope not.

    The chip has a lighter color than a normal one.  I’m now worried. Is X13-D shorthand for "X-13 flavor, Defective"?  Are these the chips that didn’t get enough Doritos sauce in the first batch?  Am I about to eat a reject?

    Time to taste… 

    Ah ha….no this is not a reject.  It is unlike a chip I have had before.  I think it has mustard in it.  And I usually hate mustard so I never would have bought these.  But I am oddly intrigued…..It’s mustard and…..something.  I can’t place it.  But I bet I eat this whole damn bag in the next 3 or 4 days trying to figure it out.  

    So, Mr or Ms Doritos Marketing person – I salute you and your mystery campaign.  You are zagging when other people zigged.  Nice work.