I have a question about Celebrity PR and I’d love if someone can feed me something that gets me closer to enlightenment.

The thought started when I was stuck in a Safeway line for what seemed like most of the holiday season.  I couldn’t help but be distracted by the headlines screaming at me from the tabloids.  Something about some girl named Heidi who I don’t know if I have ever heard of was calling off her wedding.  And then I noticed that a lot of the magazines were missing the familiar faces – Brittney, Lindsey, Paris, Jessica, etc…What was going on?

So then I wondered about the whole PR strategy around these guys.  For the sake of argument, let’s say Jessica, Lindsey, Brittney and Paris all have different PR teams.  Are they cutthroat, trying to get every headline in every magazine every week?  Or do they work together, so that one week OK gets Jessica and Us gets Brittney, but the next week they are covered in reverse? Does Jessica’s PR team tell Lindsey’s that she’ll be at the Cowboys game to see Tony Romo, but will get out of sight the next week if they’ll let her have a clean sweep across all the tabloid headlines? Or did Paris’ sudden trip somewhere for Xmas get unexpectedly bounced off the cover by Ms. Simpson?

How long is the PR calendar set up in advance?  Do all the magazines already know which Super Bowl Party Lindsey will be at?  Do they purposely split the gossip-getters up to go to different parties?   Have the PR teams already set up which Hollywood leading man with a February release will be photographed with one of the girls on Valentine’s Day?

I mean, I really want to know these things.  Do they do a photo shoot over a weekend at a mall, beach, store, park, house and club, then slowly leak the pics out in accordance with the PR plan?  And what happens when little Spears got pregnant? Did the "news" from that week get tabled to another week?  Or is it just forgotten?

Someone please, if you know the answers, you gotta let me know.