I have to write things down here or I'll forget them.

Category: Mindfulness

The Caffeine Purge Begins

I drink a lot of coffee. Usually a full pot by the end of the day, and sometimes I throw in three or four Cascade Ice caffeine drinks just to round things out. It’s not that I think I need that much. It’s just what I do. Part habit, part coping mechanism.

But I’ve been feeling the effects lately and I don’t like them. Anxiety, restless sleep, a sense that my nervous system is running slightly off the rails even when nothing’s happening. So I’ve decided to do something about it. Not some dramatic life overhaul. Just one thing: cut back on caffeine with the goal of a total abstinence. Seven to ten days of tapering. Let’s see what happens.

The plan is to mix decaf into my coffee grounds, tart with half and half, then taper it down. That will remove about 1/3 and gives me a few days to fool myself before things get more difficult. Next, drop the Cascade Ice drinks and try to replace them with pure water and electrolytes. That’s 1/2 of the current state so 2/3 total.

Then, it’ll just be cutting down the pot to 1/2, then one cup, then none at all. Sounds easy. I mean, I’ve done much harder things.

Why now? Because I want better sleep. Less edge. More clarity. And I want to see what my face and gut look like without all the hidden water retention and stimulant drag. Ten days without caffeine should be enough to know whether any of that’s real or just a theory I invented while over-caffeinated.

So this is Day 1. No big declarations. Just an experiment. I’ll check back in if things get interesting.

Baseball and Presence

An old lecture from Father Hobbs:

“Baseball is a metaphor for how to practice restraint.You can’t out-hustle the pitcher. You can’t rush the at-bat. You have to wait for the game to come to you. And in that waiting, everything gets quieter.”

Entrepreneurship, marketing, the tech world – they all teach us how to sprint, to go chase the game. But baseball taught me to stop swinging at bad pitches.

Now I use that same mindset to handle distractions, deadlines, and overthinking.

Stay in the box. Watch the ball. Swing when it matters.

Your 2% Battery – When Real Work Starts

I’ve noticed something. Most of the real progress in life doesn’t happen when you’re rested, focused, and firing on all cylinders. It usually shows up when you’re barely hanging on. When your brain is foggy, your patience is shot, and everything on your to-do list sounds equally annoying. At least that’s how it is for me.

It’s when the old stories come in. The ones that say, “Screw it, let’s just do this tomorrow” or “This probably isn’t worth it anyway.” And if I can manage to ignore that voice for five minutes and just do the thing, even halfway, it changes something deeper than the task itself.

I’ve also seen this in fellow friends, athletes, and especially parents. We’re not struggling because we don’t know what to do. We’re struggling because we’ve convinced ourselves that it only counts if it’s done perfectly, at the perfect time, with perfect energy. That’s garbage.

Sometimes being a dad means cleaning up a mess you already cleaned yesterday. Or setting up an obstacle course in the yard after a long day when you’d rather just lie down, stare at the ceiling and hand parenthood over to the TV. But we do it anyway, because consistency matters more than inspiration.

Lately I’ve been thinking about that in terms of performance. Not just fitness or business, but the mental side. The part where we’re in the batter’s box and don’t swing, because it’s not the right pitch yet. The discipline isn’t in the swing. It’s in the stillness. It’s in trusting that the next one might be the right one.

So as I was thinking about what to do with this site as I bring it back to life in a world where no one blogs anymore, I think I’ll use it as an excuse to keep leaning into that space. How to stay focused when my brain wants a nap.

I might talk about AI. Or parenting. Or playing softball on a sore calf because it feels good to compete again. It’s all part of the same thread. Eventually, it might have an actual point, but for now, this is just about building the muscle to keep going when the battery light comes on.

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